today, i can't read between the lines
of these words. i can't hide behind the language
of these thoughts. i just--
can't.

sometimes sometimes the world just
melts together in a whirlwind of
color, and i can't find
lines or edges or defining features of
anything.

i don't have the best or the worst,
but being caught in between is
sometimes just as bad.

all i can think of is happiness ten years
from now, but
that excuse just isn't good enough
anymore.

i can't live in the past
but i'm trying so hard to live in that
imaginary future.
but i can't, i can't.

please help. please.